Age isn’t so scary, after all

I just celebrated my 32nd birthday being loved on + celebrated by my two favorite guys, not to mention all the incredible friends + fam who called or texted to wish me a happy birthday! Genuinely one of the best birthdays yet, + mainly because of this new shift in my perspective around age.

I’ve always been so afraid of aging. Gray hair, losing muscle mass, getting stuck in doing something I didn’t love, wrinkles, + all the other horror stories you tell yourself as a young adult.

When it comes to age, so many things go from simple to complex in what seems to be overnight.

Jobs. Responsibilities. Growth in order to change. Change in general. Love. Pain. Loss. Gain. Identity shifts + refocus. Letting go.

Age teaches you how to find yourself one way or another, in the most honest way. It’s truly a gift we’ve been given + I think it’s time we stop being so afraid of it.

Let it in. Let it show. Let it breathe life into the years we’ve lived + grown through.

How am I letting it in? It starts with the hair.

If you’ve creeped ;) on my personal insta, you know I used to have wildly long hair. It was my crown + then I became a mom, + my crown shifted. It went from my glory to God’s glory + the gift that is my child. I honestly miss it + it’s growing back, but cutting it off was such an essential part of needing that crown to shift. Even when my hair grows back, the crown won’t be centered on top of my head, but centered around my family, my heart, + my true identity. So even if it fully turns gray + my white hair birthmark starts to blend in, my crown won’t fall, because it’s already firmly placed where God intended it. All because of age. wow

I went from a wife to a mom when I turned 30, + now I’m in my full blown mom era. It has been the most healing + sacred work I’ve ever had the honor of doing. I’m healing from so many root issues, so my body might not look the same as it did three years ago, but I love her more than I ever have. Her face is covered in even more lines of proof of life, endless smiles, + wrinkled noses from laughing so fully. My 9-5 became a 24/7 365 days a year, where I get paid in kisses + snuggles, + big feelings. I’ve never felt so overjoyed + proud of myself for who I get to be everyday for my son. For my family. I didn’t give up on my passions or calling. I’m pursuing them every moment, becoming more sanctified + healed with every breath I take.

And now, 2 years later + aging is the greatest gift, because it means I get to experience MORE. I get to experience my son + my husband + life! I get to share my testimony + all God has done in my life!!

I used to take everything for granted. Life was something you could waste and just get by with doing whatever you wanted. Being whoever you wanted because it owed me something. So I let my trauma eat at me + claim my identity, my purpose, my joy, + my future. Until I found myself in another abusive relationship + was gifted the insight of what my life would look like if I stayed. I’m so proud of my friend who is also now free of her situation + allowed me to glean + grow from her painful reality.

That happened in early 2019, + then God created a shift in friendship with my now husband, Anthony.

what a guy!

I never believed life could be this good. This beautiful. This alive + free.

And it’s all because of age.

a gift I was so ready to throw away when I was 14, + thought my trauma was my identity + life would never get better.

But wow did it get better. Not without work, not without more pain, + not without facing everything head on, but it did get better.

I praise God for all I have every single day.

and trust me, friend, I get how hard believing this is. When trauma is a part of your story, it doesn’t seem like life will get better, but it does with growth in the hands of God.

So sending you a reminder that life will get better. Not overnight, but with time. With age.

If you’re afraid of age or feel like life is stuck, I encourage you to shift your crown. I don’t mean go + cut your hair (unless you want to haha), but take a deep dive into what your focus is on + what you’re putting your worth in, + then shift if it isn’t aligned with who God has called you to be.

A daughter of the Most High!

I pray opening up your present of another year of life is a bit more fun for you this year, friend! If it is, tag me in your story! I’m here to celebrate you.

Here’s to not being afraid of time + aging, + letting it all show in the beauty of who we get to be!

Love you always, friend!

Catherine